Why Does it Take Them so Long to Get Ready?
Tell a man he's going out and he goes into a well used routine: Shower, shave and dress, quick glance in the mirror, 'Tom Cruise has got nothing on me', done. Ready to go out the door in 12 minutes, like a military operation. Two hours later he's still waiting downstairs, with thoughts like 'What are you doing up there?' and 'Why do you never make that much effort for me!'
Why do Women Pluck their Eyebrows?
Probably the most baffling of all routines obscure about women. I mean; they pluck them out, then get a big marker pen and put them back! For what purpose?! Is it so you can report a theft and see a man in uniform? Are you going to plead ignorance and swear you were not there, when the theft took place?! really, nobody will believe you.
Why do Women have Such Selective Memories?
Ask her how much she really spent on that pair of shoes and she suddenly can't remember. Yet, she will be able to bring up something you said during a row, from four and a half years ago. She will know where you were, what was on TV in the background, what you were wearing and be able to recite back the words you are now paying the price for, complete with quotes.
Why do Women take Men Clothes Shopping?
They go around forty six shops, they walk out of the changing room, and they ask the man; 'what do you think?', he says 'Yes!', then he gets the face. So then he says 'No.' and he still gets the face. This is why we never want to go, because we get dragged round for three hours, and whether we say yes or no, we still arrive home and get sent to the dog house. What is the answer??!!
|In the doghouse again!|
Why will They Never Understand the Last Day of the Football Season?
It's the last day, it all comes down to this. All those highs and lows, survival kit ready, Sky Sports on TV, radio 5 on the radio, tables in the newspaper, beer in hand and praying mat on the floor, pointed towards your chosen football stadium. It's ten minutes to kick off, hoovering done, so she'll be dead impressed with my domestic skills, surely this gives me the right to be left alone then? I hope so. Just when I think I'm safe to end the day either crying in my beer or performing a one man conga, bang, the channel changes and who has she put on, Bruno Flaming Mars. Divorce could be on the cards here.
Why do Women Paint their Toenails?
Never will get this one. The only purpose there seems to be for this, is a distraction technique, when they are swinging from side to side on the footstool, drawing our eyes towards their various pattern, which seem to vary from the Union Jack, to the A to Z of Grimsby. I cannot believe these have been done for decoration purposes, surely no woman is deluded enough to believe a man is going to look at her and say: 'Cor, look at the toes on that!!'