Friday 13 July 2018

Thoughts on Homophobia #Pride


I was brought up in an era where being gay wasn't yet fully accepted. It was getting there, but homophobia and bigotry take a long time to die. Relationships in general weren't really talked about and I don't remember ever encountering an openly gay couple until I was in my teens. The word 'gay' wasn't spoken out loud, particularly around children, and it was an era of many, many euphemisms and wildly inappropriate expressions. I can talk quite openly with my children about sex, relationships, anything really, (age appropriately, of course!) but in those days, grown ups were excruciatingly embarrassed. All the time.

I believe the reluctance to be open about the issues surrounding relationships may have played a part in the continuing ignorance about lesbian and gay people in the community. I remember distinctly the first time news of the AIDS virus first hit the headlines, bringing gay and lesbian relationships into the public eye. I remember there being a lot of fear and uncertainty surrounding the virus and its origins. I also distinctly remember my babysitter (I was probably about eight at the time.) reassuring me that they were bound to have found a cure by the time I was old enough to need to worry about it. It was all very different to the way things are now. At least, I hope so. It seems that there has been a welcome shift and those with negative opinions on others' orientations are becoming the minority. I can only really speak from personal experience, but in my household, relationships are relationships, it really doesn't matter what the circumstances are, because it really isn't anyone else's business. 

Man Wearing Born this Way Studded Jacket

For me, there is a very simple reason why this is the case. If I encounter a couple, let's assume, for argument's sake, that they are your average, run of the mill, heterosexual loved-up pair, I don't give a flying bomb what they get up to in the bedroom. I don't expect to hear about it, (that would be weird, right?) I don't expect to have to think about it and I certainly don't expect them to apologise for it. So, what's the difference?! If two people are standing in front of me, happy and not bothering me, why do I have to spend time forming an opinion on whether or not I think their relationship is acceptable? In the nicest possible way, I just don't care! To me, it is utterly ridiculous for anyone to say 'it's not natural', 'it's not right', 'it's disgusting', well possibly, I am sure a lot of 'straight' relationships are a bit 'out there', when it comes to their antics in the bedroom, but who wants to think about that?! Eurgh. Frankly, there is no such thing as a 'normal' relationship, when it comes to sex and in most cases we have no idea how 'normal' our sex lives are, because we don't compare, it's personal to the individuals concerned. That's how it should be. If you aren't bothering anyone else, who cares? So, why not let people's private lives remain private, regardless of who they want to share it with? It's the way it should be. It's the natural way.



Photos via Unsplash, with thanks. 
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15 comments

  1. I grew up with some gay next door neighbours - I didn't get it at first no one spoke about it as it wasn't a big deal, at some point it must have dawned one me they were gay and not to men living in the same house - but I don't remember when and it didn't make a difference anyway as they were still the same people as they were before hand. I just don't see it a a big thing, in my mind what does it matter who someone loves - as long as its a loving relationship that's all that matters.

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  2. I have so many gay friends. It has never crossed my mind to think of them any differently from anyone. I grew up in London, people tend to be more open and expecting, I hope this continues more so now everyone can marry their love-ones, it does not matter if they are a boy or a girl.

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  3. I feel exactly the same as you. It's a free world and people have the right to choose who they fall in love with. Who are we to decide what is normal.

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  4. Love is love - and that is it! Unfortunately, we live in a very judgemental society... I refuse to be one of those sorts of people! xx

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  5. I really have no issue with GLBT at all and also neither have my boys. When I was really unwell I remember writing that I hoped they found love with partners rather than wives

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  6. Dont have any issues I think as long as you are happy then what the hell all good by me.x

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  7. At the end of the day love wins. People will always find something to hate another for x

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  8. My only problem with any relationships are ones which are destructive or people who are unfaithful. Obviously this counts whether your love is male or female!

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  9. It's all just so normal to me, if two people love each other then I wish them all the best no matter what sex they are :)

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  10. It was still quite taboo when I was growing up, but seems accepted now. It doesn't bother me at all. It's nice to see people being open and happy.

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  11. It has been interesting watching the way this has unfolded over the years. If people love each other who cares, you only live once

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  12. I think if two people love each other - same gender, different gender it shouldn't matter at all! I've had many gay male friends in school and actually got on better with them than most of the other males.

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  13. The way I see it is - When you get in bed at night and you close your eyes... does someone else sexual preference bother you that much that it stops you sleeping? No. Never. It affects you as an individual in no way whatsoever. Let people be the way they want to be. Its 2015!

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  14. I have gay friends , we are all human x

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  15. I think people are so judgemental and even ones that say they arnt usually are the worst!

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