Thursday 24 January 2013

Remembering Jack; A Little Man's Legacy

A lot of people seem to have opinions on online friendships. Some think that it's silly and you can't really know someone without meeting them. You can't even be sure they are who they say they are. Which is true. However... some people really see the benefit of 'meeting up' with online friends to chat and just pass the time of day. There are lots of reasons why people turn to the internet for company. It could be due to illness or disability, maybe someone has lost confidence and doesn't like to socialise in pubs, etc, on their own. Or it could be a mother or father of small children who wants to talk about something other than Peppa Pig! Whatever the reason, many people are finding their place in online communities through shared interests and groups. And it can be a really positive thing. 

I am in an online chat group. It happened accidentally really. A friend joined, so I thought I'd see what it was all about. I thought it would be a bit of a laugh, to pass the time. And this is where I met Lisa. (That's her, in the middle, with her lovely family!) 

Chat groups like the one I'm in are just like meeting friends for coffee, really. You share the highs and the lows, laugh at each other, take the mick, offer support and get to know each other. So, when Lisa announced she was expecting, we were all over the moon. We followed her progress as friends would, and eagerly awaited the next installment. When she went into premature labour, we hoped and prayed together. I was up late that night and I remember thinking a lot about how they were doing. Checking for updates and worrying. Jack was born and  we celebrated his arrival and hoped he would be ok. 

It was the most terrible shock to find out a few days later that little Jack Joseph had passed away. None of us knew what to do with ourselves. We desperately wanted to reach out to her, to hug her and comfort her. But we couldn't do a thing. We were completely powerless. I didn't do anything that day. I just sat and thought. Eventually, I did the only thing I could think of to try and comfort Lisa. I wrote her this poem.

Remembering Jack 

An angel in heaven looks down from above,
But no words of comfort will lessen your pain,
Something so perfect, created from love,
One day, my darling, you'll see him again.

In the twinkle of light in his brother's eye,
In the moon reflected in a puddle of rain,
On the Autumn breeze, with its whispering sigh,
One day, I'm sure, you'll see him again.

It's hard to believe, but the sun will come back,
And your love for each other will help ease the pain,
You'll find warmth and comfort, remembering Jack,
And knowing one day, you'll see him again.

You'll keep him close to your heart always,
And remember him, talk of him, say his name,
And he'll be a part of all of your days,
Then, in the end, you'll see him again.

It seemed like such a tiny thing. I really felt quite insignificant. There were a lot of feelings expressed in the group along similar lines. People just wanted to do something. So, I set up a Facebook group and called it Remembering Jack. The poem had given me the idea to find a way to preserve Jack's memory, by donating to charity in his name. It was intended to provide an outlet for Lisa's friends, so they could do something positive to show their love and support for her, at this dreadful time. At Lisa's request, the money raised would go to Addenbrooke's Hospital, where Jack was treated. I opened the group, with the intention of raising £100, to give to Lisa to present to the hospital. I only asked for £1 from each person. I explained it like this; every pound you give, is like a hug for Lisa, to give her some comfort. Within a few weeks, we had raised over £300! We also had offers of items, from people who couldn't spare cash, and businesses. So, we decided to auction off some items, to see if we could raise some more money. By Christmas, we were up to almost £1000! The auction group grew and currently has over 500 members. It's proven popular and there have been some wonderful items donated, including some exclusive and 'not available in shops' items! Lisa was so pleased with the success of the auction group, that she has decided to keep it running. All auctions close on Friday each week at 8pm and the final bid wins. Or, if you got something hideous for Christmas, or you need to make space for all the fabulous gifts you got, perhaps you could donate an item and watch it grow into cash for a really great cause? Hopefully see you there soon. 

Edit: The auction has now closed, you can read about what happened to the money raised here. Thanks everyone who contributed, you made a real difference. 



  1. You are doing an amazing job raising awareness for Addenbrooke's Lucy

  2. Lucy - I know what it is like sitting and feeling helpless when somebody is in need and you have shown what an incredibly kind, generous and thoughtful person you are. I am lucky to be your friend. xxx

  3. This really touched me Lucy! What a lovely way to remember Jack! Well done :)

    Kellie Law

    1. Thank you, Kellie, was nice to see you at the auction! Hope you find something nice next week! x

  4. We are delighted to let you know that this post has been nominated in the ‘Most Inspirational’ post category of the SWAN UK Blog Post Awards (aka The ‘SWANS’)

    Be sure to pop over to the SWAN UK website to grab some badges for these categories to encourage your other readers to also vote for you – make sure you let them know which specific posts have been nominated!

    If you tweet the SWAN UK twitter account using the #SWANS hashtag with the URL of your blog posts and the category you have been nominated for we will retweet it for you and hopefully get you some new readers.

    Good luck!

    1. Wow! That's fantastic! Please vote everyone!! :-) x

  5. She may be my wife but I had to sit and watch Lucy fall apart, yet she still managed to find the strength and resilience to bring some good out of this awful situation. She has my unreserved and total respect and admiration for what she has done. I'm immensely proud that her poem, which reduced me tears, has been nominated or even noticed. I'm sure she will be proud too but knowing her, the cause will still be the most important thing in her mind.


    Phil Dorrington !

    1. Phil your wife is an amazing lady and im honored to call Lucy a friend she has done Jack so proud and every word she has written in this blog has been wrote with so much love and honesty.
      Lucy has done so much more than she know's helping me through this xx I would love her to win xx

  6. This really touched me
    good luck Lucy x

  7. Great work Hun, you've worked so hard for this cause, your amazing person xxx

    lorna Garratt xx

  8. im lisas mother and it was only this beautifully idea that gave my daughter strength to go on lucy was truly a life saver by giving my daughter something to strive for she helped enormously we will be forever gratefull xx

  9. Thank you for adding your link to my link party! Hope to see you again soon...


  10. Proud to be part of the group Lucy, this is a great inspiring blog post :-) xxxx

  11. Should have said I'm Chris Fliss on Facebook xxx

  12. Well done to all of you, channeling grief in such a positive way.
    Hayley Goleniowska

  13. What an inspiring way to get people together who wanted to help - and what a lovely friend you must be to have x

  14. You are doing a great job! Well done! xxx

  15. This made me tear up. Such a beautiful, selfless thing you're doing!

  16. Thank you for all your support and lovely comments. Would you believe, yesterday would have been Jack's second birthday. We raised the £2,000 that Lisa wanted and are currently arranging with the hospital to hand it over. The hand over was delayed slightly, while Lisa had her son, Elijah Jack. She is an amazingly strong person and we both want to thank everyone, once again, for all the love and support that made preserving Jack's memory a reality. Thank you. xx

  17. Such a lovely way to remember him. Such a sad story but well done for raising so much money!

    Thanks for linking up to #TBTL

  18. what an amazing thing to do, i have been through something similar and helped raise money for stillborn babies in the are where we live. it's good to find something that we can do to help others even in a small way. well done you should be so proud


© The Parent Game. All rights reserved.